Today I am giving a shout out to all the foster and adoptive families out there. I see your bravery and your struggles too.
We often talk about the trauma and loss, but I am here to share another side of adoption. I am here to say to adoptive families – I see your bravery and struggles too.
People talk about how brave birth moms are when they choose adoption. I agree, but let’s remember not every adoption is a choice. If it were, there would not be roughly 500,000 children currently in the U.S. foster care system. The statistics are staggering.
While we are grieving the loss and trauma that birth families face, we need to remember the struggles that some adoptive families face as well.
To The Brave Foster Parents:
I see you giving that child their first bath with that matted hair. Wondering if you will get the knots out or have to cut it all off.
I see those brave enough to bring home an addicted baby to detox at home without any help or medications.
I see the parents awakened nightly by a child with night terrors. Trying to figure out if your child is actually awake or a sleep. Then trying everything possible to sooth that child back to sleep.
I even see those who show up every week for visitations, when no one else does. It is hard seeing our children face rejection week after week.
I see those who open their homes repeatedly for some children before the need for adoption is granted. You are braver than me.
To The Amazing Adoptive Families:
I see those families who adopt 3, 4, 5, and sometimes 6 siblings. Even though your family and friends think you are crazy.
I see the parents who have to show adoption paperwork over and over at the doctor’s office or at school. It definitely can feel like the need to prove yourself.
I see the families of children born addicted and how the doctors may question you ever time you meet a new doctor.
I see all the families dealing with the daily consequences of the trauma or drug exposure that our children faced. Those dealing with things like — Anxiety, PTSD, RAD, ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, CD just to name a few.
I see the families who struggle to find child care because no-one wants to step up to the challenge.
I also see the families who worry about the day your children ask about their birth story. Some of these stories are not easy to tell.
Especially to the Adoptive Mamas:
I feel your grief of not having biological children. Know you are not alone and you are entitled to that grief.
I see how you feel when other mom’s at school, co-op, or even church look down on adoption.
I feel your sadness and even your anger for all you and your children go through on a daily basis because of the actions of their birth family. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you are not entitled to those feelings.
I especially see all those adoptive moms who advocate on a daily basis for their children’s needs. You got this mama.
A Few Final Thoughts:
I’m sharing this today for a couple of reasons. First, I want all adoptive and foster families to know they are not alone. There are many of us out here who feel your struggles and see your bravery. I fully believe that God knew that our children would be part of our families even before they were born. They are where they belong and we were hand picked by God to take this task on.
Secondly, I’m sharing this to educate others to the struggles that foster and adoptive families face ever day. I ask you all to pray for all foster and adoptive families. If you know a foster or adoptive family please consider coming along side of them and helping them with something like babysitting.